Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Wellness Wednesday: Just Four

I know wellness wednesday has fallen off the map for quite awhile, but not for lack of great things to share! More so for lack of time to share them, so let's start back simple with a little lesson on words and numbers. (No math required).

Most of you know I'm an occupational therapy student. What I don't believe I've shared is my minor (and previous major) is in communication studies. Recently, one of my favorite professors shared a tip that I know I need to work on mastering, and thought some of you might find interesting. 

Now, I'm one of those people who will let you know if something's wrong. My boyfriend (often) complains that "we've already talked about this". In my defense, usually the second or third complaint comes after the second or third offense. But back to the point...

Once you have discussed something (an issue) four times, talking about it makes it worse, not better. For example, recently, Anthony has had a "my way is the way to go" attitude. I'm baking muffins, and he wants to add the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients (despite the fact everyone knows you add the dry to wet). Well, since I was already having a bad day, this pissed me off. Now say, I complained to a friend (that's one!), my mother (that's two!), talked about it with you all (that's three!), and finally with him (that's four!). Now, say he succumbs to this urge to be right again tomorrow and I bring up the "muffin incident". Ignoring the fact that you shouldn't bring up past incidents when discussing a new issue, this fifth communication all by it's lil old self would make the situation worse. Studies (I apologize for not having the source to quote, personally, I am indirectly quoting my professor, who is an expert in the field) show nothing further will be gained from discussing an issue and in fact, it will cause more problems. 

Something bothering you? Go ahead, let it out, but remember... more than four times and your doing more harm than good. (That counts online communication for all you bloggers!)

What's your worst communication offense?


  1. This is really interesting. Makes sense. Something we understand intuitively but also has been studied with results to back it up. What happens when after the four discussion the issue is not resolved?

  2. i've never heard that, but it's very interesting! And I totally get why that would be, starts to becoming nagging :) Good to remember!

    {love jenny xoxo}